The Traditional Pointsetta

A non-indigenous poisonous plant is the perfect "must-have" symbol of seasonal cheer. The tiny inflorescences surrounded by large red leaves masquerading as flowers send a message of sincerity and friendliness which even the smallest child or pet cannot help but reach out to embrace.

Fruitcake is not to be tolerated. We must not use our great-grandmother's recipe to make that much maligned holiday treat of yore. We must purchase pointsettas in mind boggling numbers, import them, grow them in greenhouses, and display them everywhere at Christmas.

After all, this is not fruitcake, no, those you are supposed to eat (or save for some unknown reason). This is a poisonous plant. This is a plant that will die if planted outdoors in our climate. This is a plant that can be left unwatered in a dusty corner of the house and then guiltlessly thrown away after the parties. It is the perfect hostess gift, the perfect last minute gift, the perfect holiday decoration. Have several on hand, pick up extras at the grocery store, put some on the alter at church.

Surely the ease of disposal post-Christmas atones for any veterinary bills or accidental fatalities? Because nothing, absolutely nothing, says "Happy Christmas" and "Thanks for inviting us to dinner" like a foil-wrapped plastic pot full of toxic phytochemicals.