If At First...

Success in knitting, you see, is a relative thing. There are times when I "try, try again" because the pattern is rubbish (my own or someone else's even) and times when it takes me forever to finish because I'm just not feeling it.

It's not that I don't knit at a relatively decent speed, it's more that I keep remembering something my great-grandmother made or showed me how to make, stitches she used, cast ons and offs, the way she told me to hold my yarn -- these things are treasures buried in my memory. Lost for years, they tend to come to light half way through a project, changing everything.

Suddenly the perfectly fine way the modern pattern or youtube video says to do it isn't nearly as neat (Granny was strict about having a neat back and front to your knitting), or easy (you simply cannot beat years and years of accumulated tricks and tips that get handed down from knitter to knitter), or right as the way she taught me all those years ago. I become dissatisfied with the work, rip it out, and start again.

In the end, I want my finished pieces to look like they could have come off of her needles. Like they carry on the traditions she learned as a child at her granny's knee and passed on to me when I was a wee one at her knee. As though these American born designs of mine have that soft, slightly Scottish accent tying them to my heritage and the long line of talented women who somehow knit my DNA from their own.

Swiftly Flow the Days

I loose track of the calendar sometimes. As I grow older I find it easier to believe that a person could lose track of how old they are. I never used to believe those stories about the older generations not being quite sure how old they were. And yet I find myself forgetting my physical age as I practice being. Being present for the moment seems to melt the solidity of the past in ways I can't quite grasp. As though tracking time is what gives it it's reality, but living through it does not. 

How does it happen that living in the moment, living in the now, causes time to slip by so much more quickly? In my head these very deep (too deep?) thoughts are followed by that song from Fiddler on the Roof. You know the one: 

"Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise...

"Sunset,

"Swiftly fly the years, 

"One season following another,

"Laden with happiness and tears."

The melody loops in my head picking up lyrics randomly and truly: "I don't remember growing older, When did they...

"Sunrise...

Exceptions

When you pick up your coffee at the fast food restaurant or the coffee shop on the way to church -- does it not occur to you that you take the coffee to church but do not allow the coffee-maker the same privilege? Are they the exception? Sunday is a day off when people go to church, unless they make a heavenly espresso?  Those people don't need church?

When you decide Sunday afternoon is the perfect time to pick up a few things at the store -- does it never occur to you that you are the reason employers think stores should be open on Sunday? You are the reason people who are honest about not wanting to work on the Sabbath cannot get hired at those stores, the reason "mandatory Sunday" policies are in place for those jobs, the reason fellow Christians have not been able to participate in Sunday fellowship for years because they have to work instead. 

At my place of work I was an exception, I faced battles to protect the day I gave to God from the encroaching demands of my job. The stand I took was not popular. I was forced to make many painful sacrifices in my life in order to keep the Sabbath day as "set apart" and my co-workers and supervisors were a bit squiffy about the whole thing.  Honestly, I was upset too -- I thought we should close on Sundays and all be off that day.

SO... When you decide to eat lunch at a restaurant after church instead of going home to cook your own lunch because that would take too long -- do you ever do the math to realize that your meal was prepared by someone who clocked in to start preparing your meal about the same time you sat down to listen to that excellent sermon? Or do you think the restaurant you frequent it an exception? They have a magic wand that prepares your food.

Sure you're not cooking your own meal not even taking your food out of a crock pot or heating up leftovers, so you're not working on the Sabbath. But isn't a little too much to claim that Sunday is a day of rest and then expect others to work that day?

So to the friend who persists in asking every Sunday, even though he knows my answer will be no... just a heads-up.
NO! I will not be going to lunch after church. I will not "make an exception." I don't want to make an exception. Stop asking me to.

What's in Your Dictionary?

The spellcheck for word documents on my computer is reliably uninformed on how to spell any number of proper names. I expect those little red squiggles, and the super creative "replace with" options it comes up with when presented with a new proper noun outside its programmed variations. I add the name to the dictionary and the problem is solved.

Today though it offered me something new. A lesson I wanted to share.

The word Unforgiveness is not in the computer's dictionary. Instead, as I ran spell check it offered me "replace with: Forgiveness."

Replace unforgiveness with forgiveness. How right that is.
I did not add unforgiveness to my dictionary.

Make It Do or Do Without It

"Make it do or do without it, these are the lessons that our old folks learned..." The old song reminds me. The hard life. The good old days. We forget their lessons. Frugality. Patience. Creativity. More frugality. The long hours working a little at a time, building grain of sand upon grain of sand... That built character but gave you little else to show for it, you think. Until you look back and see it takes each and every grain of sand to make the shoreline.

Oh! We are so forgetful and so fortunate at the same time. We neither reap nor sow. We toil not. We haven't got the time for that.

We think "Make it work." is just something Tim Gunn says to fashion designers. We don't look around our lives and make it work with what we have already. Well, most days we don't. We don't have to.

We skip the coffee in the cupboard and go to Starbucks. We ignore the bookshelf and complain there is "nothing" on t.v. We don't mend, we buy new. Everything is replaceable. Everything is disposable. Even people. Even planets.

Yes, we say we want to save the world. But we want to do it in some big grand way. Something showy and attention grabbing and easy, one magnificent huge gesture we can make once and be done.  The little things are anti-climatic.

Jeremiah 17:14-18

Heal me O LORD, and I shall be healed

Save me and I shall be saved

For YOU are my praise

See how they say to me,

"Where is the word of the LORD?

Let it come!"

But I have not run away from being a shepherd in YOUR service,

Nor have I desired the fatal day,

YOU know what came from my lips

It was before YOUR face

Do not become a terror to me,

YOU are my refuge in the day of disaster;

Let my persecutors be shamed

But do not let me be shamed

Let them be dismayed

But do not let me be dismayed...

Merry Christmas

For unto us a Child is born...
In case we couldn't understand why the Lord God on His throne would bother with us.

For unto us a Savior is given...
In case we didn't know how much our Omnipotent Creator loves us.

And His name shall be called Emmanuel...
In case we didn't realize He is always with us.

To live content with small means,

"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are." -Marjorie Hinckley

"Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have." -Doris Mortman

"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." --Laozi

"The future, good or ill, was not forgotten, but ceased to have any power over the present. Health and hope grew strong in them, and they were content with each good day as it came, taking pleasure in every meal, and in every word and song." -J.R.R. Tolkien

"People always think that happiness is a faraway thing... something complicated and hard to get. Yet, what little things can make it up; a place of shelter when it rains - a cup of strong hot coffee [tea]... for contentment; a book to read when you're alone... Those things make happiness." - Betty Smith

to seek elegance rather than luxury,

I have been pondering this phrase, wondering what pictures to put with it, what other great quotes I might find to express this same sentiment. I have come up with nothing that seems right to me.

I see luxury in red embroidered or paisley velvet with heavy beading and bullion fringe, and elegance in crisp white linen. But each person defines these two ideas, these two words differently.

To me it seems a luxury not to care that you have dropped the spare change out of your purse, to know and have a policy of never stooping to pick up loose change. It seems a luxury to not care that herbs you use every day cost less in bulk. It seems a luxury to swipe a card and pay for a meal you hadn't planned on eating at a restaurant I wouldn't normally afford. It seems a luxury to buy a new dress and new shoes for an event you aren't sure you'll attend.

But these luxuries are more than just things I can't afford, they are things I wouldn't afford even if I could afford them. Somehow my definition of luxuries has gotten tied up with an idea of poor stewardship, with an idea of a lack of respect for the value of a dollar in working-man terms, with carelessness and attitudes of entitlement. Luxuries are things one should do without, just on the sheer principle of it.

So how do I define elegance? In simple terms, in the classics, the enduring, the unchanging, honest, clean, refined by the passage of time and set apart by the quality of workmanship. Not necessarily inexpensive -- elegance might be affordable or it might require deep pockets -- but whatever the cost, elegance is solidly worth its price tag.

How do you define elegance?

act frankly,

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." -Elbert Hubbard
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

to listen to the stars and birds, to babes and sages,

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
-- Jack Kerouac

with an open heart;

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements.
Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

To love is to be vulnerable."
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)

do all bravely,

-- inspiration from Bravehearted Gospel

awaiting occasions,

Isaiah 25:9

And it shall be said in the day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the Lord; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

worry never...

Matthew 6:25-31

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day brings enough troubles of its own.

To Live Content...

To live content with small means;
to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable,
and wealthy not rich;
to study hard, think quietly,
talk gently,
act frankly,
to listen to the stars and birds, to babes and sages,
with an open heart;
to bear on cheerfully,
do all bravely,
awaiting occasions, worry never...
-- W.H. Channing

To notice each moment,
each small aspect of creation and marvel,
cherish details and find they build a foundation,
learn the life God would have us live
and live it.
Fully.

Friendship

"In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers.
In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another
...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart.
But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work.
Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends,
"Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another."
The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out.
It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others."

-- C.S. Lewis

Leaf Burning Deep

All Hallows Day burns yellow
with the fire of martyrs,
with the licking flames of ancient

judgment. Gusting
maple red, and glowing
the zealous sun overflows
a wind seared sky.

Clouds circle the heavens,
like wild white geese
who fly against

this ardent azure sky.
On the seventh day
the trumpets sound
in Jericho. A shout rings out,

a sign, a frost, leaves crumble
from the trees and fall. For
a moment they were green

and growing, grasping still
to oak and walnut, poplar,
ash. They clung as though
the planet burned,

like Rome,
like the bush of Moses,
like the Saints at Pentecost.

IQ: Carpenter's Squares

From my latest IQ (infant quilt) class comes Carpenter's Squares. Based on a traditional quilt block rich in symbolism, the design has been enlarged and modernized. The L shaped tool known as a carpenter’s square has been used for centuries to help square-up and measure in carpentry. Early quilters of the traditional (much smaller) block recorded their beliefs in this block, referencing Jesus as The Carpenter. Harking back to traditions in early Gaelic Christianity, Celtic interlace represented the way in which all life is woven together. The interlace patterns represented in this design symbolize the idea that the afterlife (heaven) and this present world (earth) intersect creating a pattern that, at least for now, only God the Creator sees the whole of.

The use of triple bands to create the interlace in this design also suggests the Trinity, a concept of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit together as One. Another use of religious symbolism is seen in the repetition of the four isolated background squares in each corner. This design feature suggests a relationship to the idea of the “foursquare gospel” (meaning a good foundation for one's faith), terminology borrowed from the Biblical book of Revelations.

To make the quilt shown in this post I used a dark purple reproduction fabric from P&B for the background, with a Michael Miller Asian print and one of Northcott's Quilt for A Cure(TM) fabrics as the bands. Machine quilted in a random free-motion swirliness. The combination of these fabrics, I think, is visually striking but also speaks to diversity -- reminding me that there are many different people with many different backgrounds, talents, and gifts who come together to make up the beauty of the body of believers.

What Makes Success?

Success, defined by the world it means money and some degree of fame.

Defined by me it means that on average more people like you than hate you even if most people have no clue who you are. There's a solid roof overhead, and a garden in your yard. You have a moral character, and use your brain for something more than filling your head. And whatever happens here on Earth, you know you're saved and won't be separated from God in the next life.

That's success.

On that level I'm successful. Notice how I have carefully constructed a definition of success that conforms to my situation so that I can claim to have achieved 100% success? Still, I think it's a valid definition.

Several other definitions exist by which I could not be viewed as successful, for example I am completely lacking in the fame and fortune departments. But I think everyone succeeds differently. Would I be happy living up to someone else's definition of success?

Isn't being content with your life actually one of the signs of success? I think it is. I think we get hung up on making other people believe we are successful ... but when we get in a quiet corner and let God show us our hearts are we happy with who we are? With what we have achieved in our lives?

When we feel we have failed... Is it because we have failed to meet someone's definition of success or because we have failed to meet our own definition?

What makes success?