Quietly Enigmatic

This, then, is British actor Michael Kitchen for those of you who don't know. Quite a few people have never heard of him, if recent conversations are any indication. But then, he does his best to stay out of the limelight. Does his job, does it very well, and goes home.

I discovered him first in the film Enchanted April where he brings his ineffable charm to the character of Mr. Briggs.

Then I discovered the stupendously brilliant series Foyle's War. Which I highly recommend.

I read an article once talking about filming Foyle's War... it seems the scripts would be sent round and Kitchen would cut out large sections of his own lines. He would say 'I can do all that [several paragraphs] with one look.' and, according to the guy being interviewed, he could. Kitchen has something of a reputation for being able to express his characters without using many words. He's known for playing (and being) "quietly enigmatic."

Once you know who he is Michael Kitchen pops up in a lot of things...
He was in Out of Africa, which I never saw, but there he is in a film still from the movie.
I did see Lorna Doone -- and was delighted to discover Kitchen in the role of Judge Jefferies. He's been in oodles of other films and series...
And did I mention he's in my favorite movie, Enchanted April?
Well, he is.

Why Don't They Ever Listen?

I remember taking a handicapped friend to see Titanic for the 14th time. Colleen takes it hard that Jack dies, I was warned, but last time left her distraught over the fate of the poor iceberg.

Coming out of the theater after the movie I was completely unprepared for Colleen's assertions that Rose died. Nothing I said could convince her that Rose had lived in the movie. She was full of a story about how Rose had sacrificed herself to save Jack --she changed the movie. Jack was going to live, if the film makers wouldn't save him Colleen would.

I understand how Colleen felt. I often find myself imagining different endings, or middles, or whole movies after seeing something on-screen that did not live up to its trailers. And I'm vocal about it.

My family refuse to go out to the movies with me -- especially if I've read the book they made the film from -- because I will make comments. During the movie.
I try not to but I always end up talking to the screen. I offer advice to the characters, to the writers, to the director... I tell them how they should have done it. They never listen.

For me, nothing ever changes. Films go on deliberately altering the fictional realities of my favorite books in a manner that amounts to character assassination, violating the facts of history in a manner that makes the word anachronistic an understatement, and demonstrating truly original bad taste and poor decision making at a frighteningly increasing rate. (Really good movies are getting scarce, IMO.)

Last night as my sister and I watched a comedy on the television, I was once again speaking to the screen, bemoaning the lack of morality in our culture and pointing out that the obvious consequences could have been avoided if they would simply have listened to me four or five scenes ago....
And I had an idea: What if television and movies did listen? What if it the endings did change?

Remember "Choose Your Own Adventure" books? I love this concept. You read a page or two and then there is a choice to be made, you choose what you would do and turn to the corresponding page to see how your choice plays out... why couldn't this be done with film? An interactive webisode for all of us out here who shout advice to the television while patient family members quietly insist "They can't hear you."

Now if only someone was listening....

Anne of Green Garbled

I watched with increasing horror the latest "Anne of Green Gables" movie. New Beginnings is supposed to be a prequel. Based on the DVD's back blurb I was prepared for the astounding fact that Canada's most beloved orphan has been recategorized as a compulsive liar with a secret living parent for this latest Ken Sullivan flick.

Granted I was already resigned to expecting wide divergence from the facts of the books after the shenanigans of the third Anne movie in the original trilogy. In that third movie, ignoring a wealth of material to choose from in the books by L. M. Montgomery, Sullivan chose instead it invent a new story wholecloth, putting Anne and Gilbert on the front lines in WWI.... but that, at least was a fairly well written story. The prequel has no such merit.

From pillar to post New Beginnings is ill-conceived anachronistic trauma juxtaposed with speeches and spectacles lifted from earlier movies. And when I say earlier movies, I do not mean solely scenes from the Anne of Green Gables films which the new child star mimics perfectly down to the very pauses, emphasis, inflections Megan Follows used in the same speeches. I also spotted a scene or two from Jane Eyre. I am fairly certain the Shirley McClain "Mrs. Thomas" character and her mill town of "Merrysville" came straight from Pollyanna for the picnic. And to be honest, I was almost surprised not to have heard Anne saying "Please Sir, can I have some more?" But perhaps that scene was mercifully left on the cutting room floor.

Aside from being a pastiche, in the most hopeless sense of the word, the story is fraught with inconsistencies. To put it kindly, the movie is not only Not Anne of Green Gables, it's not even a good story.

I was particularly moved by a scene at a railway station when Louisa confesses to stealing -- and in the next breath gushed about her destine friendship. Not exactly an apology, and no offer to repay, not even any guilt really, just: "Hey, I stole money rightfully yours and sent you to a poorhouse - clearly we were fated to be bosom friends." The lack of reality and awkwardness of this construction moved me to near tears. Secrets that would force the mills to be sold, turn into secrets that make the mills worthless. I have to admit for forcing "suspension of disbelief" this is an excellent storyline -- I still can't believe I watched it to the end. Heart-warming moments of character growth are revoked in the next scene with no explanation. Villains abound. And moreover, no matter what happens in the interim when the action picks up again they insist on remaining villains -- or starting unions -- it's unclear, but either way it's bad news for young Anne.

The framework for the younger story is a conflicted, aging Anne's struggle to write a theater play. This is the plot line where the manners and wardrobe anachronisms really bothered me most. I realize I am more sensitive than most when it comes to period costuming but SERIOUSLY???? Anne wears slacks the entire time. Okay, sure they've yanked the time frame forward to the 1940's so women were wearing slacks then -- though I seriously doubt that a 12 year old who yearned for "puffed sleeves" (c. 1875) would have worn them no matter how many script writers were lying about her age -- but even the most liberated young pant wearing female wouldn't have worn a shell blouse, over sized sweater, and trousers Everywhere. I'm sorry, it's a good look for the actress but it's just not period correct. And even if, by some inconceivable stretch of the imagination, you could justify the pants for each and every scene -- there is NO way to justify a trouser-clad female sitting with one knee up, foot in the chair, other leg curled around in the lobby of a hotel. Respectable women in that time period did NOT sit that way in public, EVER, even in pants.

Plus the unrecognizably morphed and modern Anne is really the only character remaining that L.M. Montgomery ever put a pen to. Diana Barry won't return Anne's calls, she's too busy golfing. I suspect she saw the script and decided she rather be dead than participate in such a travesty. That was certainly Gilbert's approach. Anne cries on his grave in a touching scene that reminds me of another movie I saw ...

Inspired by Leslie's Long Meme

Over At the Top of Squirrel Spur Leslie has done an astronomically long meme. It's a list of 239 films and if you've seen 85 of them you've "got no life." I've seen 34 or 35 (I can't remember if the comet hitting the earth movie I saw on the weather channel one time was called was Deep Impact or not).

Evidently I "have a life."
For the complete list go to Leslie's blog. I haven't followed the rules of the meme at all.

*****

Most of the films on that long list were films I wouldn't even consider seeing to begin with, because what you put in your head -- that's what's in your head. It's wasteful of brain cells to watch stupid time-filler movies, it's disrespectful to my faith to watch movies that advance a lifestyle opposite to the way God wants me to live, and, honestly, I just don't see the point of violent horror films. Movies should be happy escapes from reality.

Now, a GREAT movie, not on that list, would be Enchanted April... I may have seen that one movie alone 35 times. (Does that refute the idea that I "have a life"?) Come to think of it most of the movies I really like weren't on the meme at all. I wonder who would write a movie list that doesn't include:
Kismet
My Man Godfrey
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
White Christmas
Much Ado About Nothing
Groundhog's Day
Wives and Daughters
Sense and Sensibility ... .... maybe, I should write my own movie meme.

*Edited

I Want More Good Movies

Clearly the movie industry does not agree with me.

We rented Definitely, Maybe over the weekend and here’s my opinion: Definitely NOT.

Most people probably wouldn’t agree with me; I wish I didn’t agree with me. The movie was well acted – superb, believable performances by an excellent cast. It was well written – first-rate dialogue, brilliant use of voice over and foreshadowing. And the directing and cinematography were stellar as well. Why don’t I like it? I’m not a fan of immorality. Oh, sure the little girl catches out her dad as a former smoker and chastises him, but the teasing “Dad what’s the male word for slut?” doesn’t carry nearly as much weight. The movie condones (where it should condemn or at least correct) the loose morality and sexual perversion of the four adult characters.

Here’s the kicker for me though: His marriage, signing the divorce papers is presented as the only thing standing between the girl’s father and the woman he really loved all along (not her mother) – WHAT? What kind of message is that? Allow me to sum up.
‘Hey, Kido, it’s okay Mommy and Daddy are getting divorced. I know we made commitments and stuff but I never really loved her, we’d both had sex with so many people it was just time to try something else for a while. I’ve really been in love with someone else this whole time.'
‘Sounds great, Pop. Not like families matter that much afterall – need help getting the old girlfriend back?’
My predictable response? DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME.

Now a great movie, which properly addresses the idea of philandering (there are temptations, they are resolved), has yet to be released on DVD. I am not alone in my appreciation of this film. For whatever reasons tons of people love this movie. A Google search on the title reveals multiple sites offering good reviews, fans recommending the film, and several hundred petitions each demanding the release of this film on DVD. And I checked – there are over 800 pages listing bloggers on Google Blogger who have put this movie in their profile favorites.

Released in 1992 this movie, with a stellar cast and truly excellent cinematography (as well as my personal favorite, even though you can’t find it anywhere, movie soundtrack of all time), offers a soothing drama about the lives of four women who face life and find love where they least expected it – in unlikely friendships and their own marriages. The film, nominated for multiple Oscars and Golden Globes, garnered two of the latter. The reworked screenplay was revived in 2003 as a successful Broadway show, and the almost forgotten book on which the film was originally based has not only been reprinted but has become a book club favorite over the intervening years.

I am wearing out my second VHS tape of the movie at a rate which causes me to worry about where I’ll find another copy I can afford. Used VHS copies of the film range from $30 to $80 on Amazon, and yet the film still has not been released on DVD.

To which popular movie do I refer? ENCHANTED APRIL

If you haven't seen it (or haven't seen it in a while), go rent it – if you can find it – and if you can’t find it, do me a favor and complain. I think they’ve stopped listening to me.